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Sheena [userpic]

Horseback riding = Judge of Character?

September 22nd, 2008 (10:36 pm)
contemplative

current mood: contemplative

So, today while I was driving home from work, I randomly starting thinking about horseback riding. Two friends of mine recently expressed interest in joining me up to the barn I kinda sorta teach/ride at. Its more on a barter/honor system where I ride and teach and no one has to pay anyone anything. Works out well considering I'm pretty broke. I just have to pay for gas to get up there really. Anywho! I was thinking about how there are so many people out there who are so motivated to ride and are completely gung-ho about the idea... until then plop themselves in the saddle. And then instantly you get the "oh shit, what was I thinking look".

You know the look too... because for anyone whether it be a horse person or not, everyone has that first realization as you sit in the saddle that all of a sudden, you know you are tempting fate. By getting on that animal's back, you are relying on it to keep you from meeting what normally you call "blessed ground". They have that look of terror and panic where all they really want to do is immediately get off and run as farrrr away from the barn as they can and not look back.

Sometimes, as much as you mutter to yourself what an evil person you are for thinking it, you sometimes even smirk and smile when you get someone who is cocky and arrogant and thinks they can just hop on a horse for the first time ev-ar and gallop off while roping loose cattle. You get them all prepped on the ground and they boast how it is a piece of cake and even go so far as to insulting the horse they are about to mount, saying things like they can take them and that horses aren't so tough... dude... you've been in a horse's presence for all of 10 minutes... just you wait. They saunter up to the horse, you explain and emphasize certain IMPORTANT things about sitting upright in the saddle and mounting and how to adjust the stirrups on the ground to save time. All to this more smirks from Mr. Know-It-All-But-Never-Been-On-A-Horse. You just bite your tongue and wait... and then they mount up, have the horse take a few steps and they freeze. Both their body and their face. You wait to see what they will do, but usually nothing. They stammer and you can see the blood drain from their face completely. Not so tough up on a horse now, are you? You, of course, being the humble rider/instructor you are, take it in stride and move on from your moment to get them to be a bit more confortable in the saddle and being 5 feet off the ground.

This is why horseback lessons, even if it is only two or three ever in their lives, is a good way to bring out a person's character. Horse's are by no means trying to bring out the worst in people... just bring out who they really are and quite possibly encourage themselves to rise above their own short comings. You can tell the people who really come to learn. They are the ones that hang on every word you say and fix the problem, or at leat attempt to fix the issue right away while riding. They keep at it even when they don't get the desired response. They acknowledge they are the ones that are the problem and know they need to be more clear for the horse they are riding to "understand" with them. The ones that just get so frustrated and really do not have the patience to challenge themselves are the ones that get fed up, demand to get off, blame the horse for not "obeying" or other see "failures".

You don't have to like riding to be good at it. Though it does help. You also don't have alot of "seat time" when you start. The funny thing with riding is that it is one of those "I've been there before" types of challenges in life. True, it isn't a milestone everyone in their lifetime will encounter, but I feel for those who truly just want to learn, you learn a lot more than you thought you would, but in a very good way.

Riding teaches patience. Above all else, it also teaches humility. I think I've learned some of my best lessons through riding. As corny as that sounds, it is so very true. I have had my share of pride and embarassment. Just when you think you can do no wrong and no better, a horse comes and knocks you off that pedestal as fast as you first got on it.

Can horses also be a judge of character? Sure they can. However, I've been around a bunch of horses and a bunch of people and I've never witnessed this. But, I can say horses do seem to sense certain needs of others and accomodate on a need be basis.

So you ask, how can horseback riding be a judge of character in someone? Because it brings out the person we truly are. Only at our most unsure and nervous state are we able to prove who we are and how we will emerge from it.

Sheena [userpic]

Move #628,992!

August 31st, 2008 (04:25 pm)
accomplished

current mood: accomplished

Okay, so not that many moves, but I have moved my stuff more times than you can count on one hand. Which is not a lot for some college students or even for military families... but still... it is a lot of time and energy to move your stuff from point A to point B. And this time, this move has a "point C".

Since we are supposed to be out of our Quincy place officially by 9/6 and I can't move during the week, I moved out ALLLL my stuff from the apartment today, with some much appreciated help from my dad, Bob, and Armen.

Part 2 of the move will commence tomorrow to my new apartment in Watertown. The reason for this layover is because the landlord said it isn't going to be vacated by the old tenants until then. At first, this would see like a slight hitch, but now looking at it, it is a much better situation. We get to have a break between the craziness of moving and moving in.

I will have to say it has only been part 1 so far, but this has been the easiest move so far. I think it is mainly due to the fact that I had already boxed up all my crap and put it into boxes and organized it into one main location in the apartment rather than having to pack everything up today AND move it out as well.

Hopefully I won't have to be doing many more moves in my future. Each time I have more and more stuff to move. It used to all fit in one minivan, now I have a 5'x5'x8' trailer, a full mid-size SUV and some extras waiting on deck. Not a TON of stuff, but nonetheless... it isn't fun to move it EVERY year.  I am looking forward to this new place. It should be quite an adventure and so close to so many good things... Armenian bakeries, Ranc's ice cream, Starbucks, pizza places... work! ;)

'Till the 2nd half of the move!

Sheena [userpic]

Executing a story

August 26th, 2008 (10:18 pm)
impressed

current mood: impressed

It's so interesting.

Some people out there crave the attention of those around them. They desire it. They yearn for it. If there isn't at least one person focusing on them, listening to their stories of their life, they start going crazy. They are practically addicted to it. Like a strung out drug addict looking for their next fix, only perhaps safer... they need to have people hanging onto every word they said. The amazing thing about it is that they CAN tell a story, and draw others into it and hold someone's attention, executing the story with such precision like an Olympic gymnast. They just deliver while winning everyone's attention and interest in the process.

Not all people who are "story tellers" desire it like the attention seekers. Some just are very personable. There is definitely a difference. Those are the ones that tell a story just carry on a conversation, or to learn about others. They are in very cooperative in conversation.

I know that I am neither of the above. I am not a wallflower... however, I also am not someone who can grab and hold a whole group of people by a thread of a sentence. I commend those people. They have a gift, a skill, a very desirable trait to hold on to. Some people call it the "gift of gab", and I, while I don't enjoy the phrase, would have to also just admire what they can say and do to collect even the most disinterested person in a conversation.

You know how there are punch lines to every joke? I crash and burn at delivering the lines the time. I admit this full well and true. I cannot entertain with short conversation or temporary conversation.

If you wanted to talk about the meaning of life and what that is all about. Or debate about why people act and think the way they do and try to break it down... I'm your gal. I'll get into serious topics and debates or how the stars were born, but short talk, little blips of conversations which break up the awkward silences and are so VASTLY important in day to day interactions with those your work with or those you just meet... those are the real conversation starters. I can hold a conversation with someone I have known for more than a few months... but I am still attempting to brush up on the finer points of commanding a conversation.

Sheena [userpic]

Music and Poetry

August 5th, 2008 (08:50 pm)
relaxed

current mood: relaxed

Music is Poetry... I have always believed it to be the case. True, most songs sung by artists are written by songwriters, but it has to come from somewhere. Someone has to be thinking or feeling that way to write it. Most don't come out of thin air.

I used to write poetry all the time. I was a poetry writing fiend back in high school and middle school. In college, that pretty much slowed down almost to a full stop, then once I graduated, I got a job, bought a car... well, you guessed it.

Having this new job and literally a month of "down time" before moving into my new digs in Watertown, I have started to think about resurrecting a lot of my old poems. I was going through my data storage HD (external) to back up files and songs and pictures, as God knows I have too many of both now. I glanced over a bunch of poems I had written near the end of high school/beginning of college. I would love to build off those and bring some of them back to the limelight. Just for the fact that I haven't done it in so long. Not that other things in my life aren't worth the time, but I find I have ignored a lot of the things that make me me and ultimately what makes people want to be around me and maybe even enjoy my company?

I had a very philosophical discussion about two weeks ago and at first it was funny to get my brain start thinking in alternate parallels... but once I did and focused on it and got the mind juices flowing, the thoughts just came to me faster than I could spit them all out! It was such a great thing. I haven't really "used" my mind and what I store away in it for awhile that my brain was literally waving a sign in my head "Welcome Back!" it isn't everyday you get to have a philosophical discussion or even have it with someone who is willing to listen and also build off of or dispute your ideas. Its very refreshing and quite rewarding.

I was at work today and they had the radio on and I heard the song by Lifehouse - "Whatever It Takes" and put it to memory to try and remember to check out the lyrics without the melody behind it. Lifehouse actually has a lot of great songs with poignant lyrics and melodies. I recommend checking out some of their work.  I'm not going to post the lyrics, but it made me think about my own poems I have written.

There is a quote out there... and if anyone knows me, I am very much into quotes... that sums up a lot of what people are dealing with on a daily basis. It is mainly about life and how we deal with those around us, but I found this statement once and have loved it since:

"We don't see others as they are, we see them as we are." - Anais Nin

And I end with that thought of the evening.  :)

Sheena [userpic]

Venting and Thinking...

July 25th, 2008 (01:09 pm)
pensive

current mood: pensive

I have had this past week off in between my old job and my new one. I had been very hopeful to have a stress-free week to get rid of all the anxiety I have built up from a variety of things.

My brother didn't end up getting married last week. Crazy as all that was. I can't believe I was that stressed out about, but with that, work ending, and some not too great turn outs with the use car by brother bought, I am trying yet again to unwind and get my blood pressure back down to a reasonable level.

I was updating my archival hard drive today and came across some old files/essays I had written for my ethical theory class. It was a class that they had deemed a "3rd year class" in college, aka Junior year in college, yet, I took it as a sophomore. It was a philosophy and it was found that you need to conciously get in the mindset to expand your mind and thought process to alternative ways of thinking and viewpoints. Almost like when you take your first physics class and you have to think in numerical ways that is a little different, or the same with statistics. It just a different way of thinking that you need to wrap your mind around.

I was reading an essay I wrote about Augustine talking about good and evil. In the reading we were interpreting and understanding, Augustine believed that good was learned or rather, as we learned more throughout our life, the more good we become and want to move away from evil. He believes we don't learn evil but rather that it is within all human beings. He believes this to be true because while there is good in the world, "evil" is what precludes all intentions until we learn as humans and then we chose to become more good. Showing in essence that we as humans want to be good, we just need to learn in each circumstance what is good.

I just need to relax and just let everything work itself out. I worry about other people's problems, much like my mom does, and I need to just worry about my own life's happenings.

Since my college years finished, I haven't pushed my mind as much as I know I want to. I love to think out of the box and be aware of life and know that every action I have on someone has some effect on them. I always want to keep expanding my thought process and now that I will have time (literally) to do so with my new job, I'll be most likely posting a lot more often to bounce off thoughts.

More to come... :)

Sheena [userpic]

Something just doesn't make sense here

July 9th, 2008 (11:56 pm)
drained

current mood: drained

Today work just zapped the life out of me today...

... and it makes me wonder... should it be?

Luckily, I won't have to deal with it too much longer. I am starting to loathe the consumer. Am I really that much of an idiot/bitch/psychopath on the phone or in person when I buy things?! I hope not!

Words of wisdom: The one person you DON'T want to piss off is your waiter... EVER! Seen the movie "Waiting"? Um... yeah...

Today's eventful and yet mind numbing day made me ponder the thought... while I was up in Vermont during 4th of July weekend, you finally got a chance to take a breath, stop for a moment, and come back down to the pace of nature: calm and collected and rational in every sense of the word. Now I know why I love Vermont so much. It is just so peaceful and serene. It was pointed out to me that getting a break from the hectic world of "everything else" that you get to reflect on the important things... what really matters and what is really important. Once "all the crap" melts away, you are left with everything that is real. And the sad thing is, you get swept right back up into all of it - reality - even before you officially return back to it.

Makes me just want to cherish every moment we get of vacation and break time just that much more. Its like we shed off all the lead weight that collects over time that we don't even realize is there burdening us until we escape from it all and realize how much of a bitch it really is/was.

I am definitely going to try to savor my week off before starting my new job. I need to reboot and just reapproach my career with optimism rather than contempt and dread. I need to do what I love. Not love what I do, because if you hate it and you try to convince yourself you love it, then you'll just be in agony.

Sheena [userpic]

Filed tax returns!

February 7th, 2008 (11:02 pm)
excited

current mood: excited

Woohoo! I filed my tax returns with TurboTax and it was actually pretty painless. Now I just can't wait for the return to come in! ;)

Sheena [userpic]

A bit of a break

January 11th, 2008 (11:49 pm)
calm

current mood: calm

I am back to normal life yet again. I forget how crazy and hectic the holiday season really makes you feel. Not that I don't mind the extra family and person time with those you love, it is more so the stress of "everything else" that makes it not so fun.

Work is turning back to normalicy. It was not busy today at all, which was nice, because everyone was able to get stuff done. I still have a lot of stuff to do and catch up on, but mainly just getting back into a normal routine like pre-holiday rush.

I submitted a pretty extensive proposal to my supervisors (with their approval to work on draft) last Friday and just checked in today. They are working on it (and other things) and will be getting back to me shortly about this. As I was writing it up, I had more and more things pop into my head to write about. It is definitely something I want to work on and maybe help modify and enhance my position and what I do exactly. I don't want to "move" to purchasing, I want definitely be a part of the sales team, but have some type of influential purchasing role that helps with the customer contact which in turn helps our company.

I rearranged my room at my apartment. It feels a bit better, but needs a few more tweaks. I like to sleep on the left side of the bed I have noticed. I slept ok on the right last night, but after much moving around and modifying. I am more of a left brain thinker also. I can get creative, but I use more logic and reasoning. I really have to get in a groove to start chugging out good ideas. They don't just come up on a whim like right brain people do.

Sheena [userpic]

From the Cape to Quincy... whee!

December 13th, 2007 (06:41 pm)
amused

current mood: amused

So, my commute home seemed almost comical to myself today.

As most New Englanders know, it is snowing outside right now. Not crazy blizzard snow, but lightly steadily falling snow.

First thought of the day today: Thank GOD I got my winter snow tires put on. Nokian WR's on my stock S-Lite wheels (which you think is just complete irony as they are the heaviest wheel MINI has out there). So I get to work today, sky is clear, but you know it is coming, the birds are not chirping and everything is just "silent".

I work in Plymouth and snow was not expected to start until 2pm, but it couldn't wait to be the real first snow storm, so it started to fall around 12:00. By 12:30 when I took my lunch, there was already 1/2" on the ground and the roads were already slippery with the wet snow.

We watched the snow fall more and more out our windows and at one point, there was so much snow falling, it was almost a white out!

Our bosses decided that the far away living people should leave work early, so two left at 3pm and I was to leave at 4pm. Around 3:30, they decided it was best to have EVERYONE go home early as basically the rest of the office had that idea already and we were virtually the only ones remaining.

I walked outside and the snow was about 4 inches deep already! My car was covered, but luckily, one of the IT guys was brushing everyone's cars off (including mine)... ouchie... poor car paint :(  He left some on the top and joked "It needs all the weight it can get!" :P

With my new snow tires, I was off and away to start my journey home. It was slow going that was for sure. Rt. 3 was barely plowed, but I figured if I careened off the road, I had rations - my left over sub from from D'Angelos and soda... yum...

But, I made it back okay, listening to Kiss 108 say a million times that Jingle ball was still happening and everyone to still come!

The hardest/hairest part of the trip was probably the last 1/2 mile drive down Burgin Parkway. It wasn't plowed AT ALL, just the trails left of previous cars. I think my car even helped to plow the snow a bit! Then I had to go up this *little* hill and this Mercedes coupe couldn't even make it up it!! Thankfully, the MINI handled fine (even with less weight!) and I got into my parking garage safe and sound! :)

Sheena [userpic]

A single typing error...

December 3rd, 2007 (08:25 pm)
aggravated

current mood: aggravated

...and you could get unsolicited sex phone calls.

That's right. For the past 3 months, I have been getting random phone calls from random sleazy guys, all asking along one line or another if "I still give massages". Yes... those kind of massages too. It happened to be funny the first time, but then, it kept happening more and more often. And then finally reached its excessiveness yesterday. I got a total of 5 calls, all from different sketchy and sleazy men looking for a sensual message. I had in the past just told them it was the wrong number but with 4 calls in a few hour period I had to ask myself what the hell was going on. One of the men actually hinted about Craigs List. Lo and behold with some sleuthing, MY cell phone number popped up on a variety of ads the "erotic services" section listed under a few different ads posted on different days. The most recent ad listed the wrong number, MY number. The "correct" number had been flipped and thus horny, raunchy men were calling ME instead of this "Asian massage and everything else" girl.

So, I emailed Craigs List once. Not even 10 minutes later I got another call. It was a guy that obviously was nervous and kept blabbing on and on. After his schpeal I stated this is the wrong f***ing number, the number he wants is "so and so". Then, above all that, he says "oh okay... but you sound nice you know..." Yeah. Don't even go there bud. I said no, go away, don't call again and hung up on the ass wipe. I sent another email to Craigs List, this time with the links to the ads that had my number as well as the correct "listing".

I got an email back today that they removed the ad and so forth. But not before I got TWO calls from another two numbers, one leaving a message too! I didn't listen to it until the end of the day because I knew what it was all about. I called the number back, cursed them out on a voice message and STRONGLY suggested they don't call back, or I'll call the cops.

When I got back home tonight, I found the cell phone company that supported the number and proceeded to see if there was anything they could do. Of course they are no help and suggest to me that I call this number and see if they can change their number or do something about this. Me, at my wits end and not wanting to get another sleazy, demeaning call, I call this number -- of course no answer and I proceed to leave a message saying that if this person who puts up these ads does not double check what number they are putting out there for the world to read and call, especially about soliticing sex for money AKA prostitution, then I would need to notify the authorities. I get a call back not even 5 minutes later and this Asian pimp answers saying he is so sorry and asking for forgiveness and yadda yadda. I say either he checks his work/ads next time, or next call I get unsolicited, I'm informing the cops.

Yeah... only me right? /me sighs